Dear Daughter, When Motherhood Gets Tough

Dear Daughter,

I’m going to gift you with a valuable life lesson. It’s something that in my 30 years of life I’m still coming to understand and will continue to evolve as you and your sister grow.

Motherhood will be your hardest journey out of everything else you do in life.

Sometimes you cannot fully be the mother you wish to be, and that’s a difficult realization to come to.

With social media, mom blogs, Pinterest boards and everything in between, we are painted a perfect little picture of everything a mother can and should be, and oftentimes the reality is much different.

Motherhood is sometimes crying at the edge of your child’s crib because it’s the fourth straight sleepless night.

Motherhood is sometimes jeopardizing your health for everyone else’s needs and wants.

Motherhood is sometimes not knowing what the hell day it is, like ever.

Daughter, I don’t say this to make you feel bad. I don’t say it to make you feel like you are unwanted as my child.

Motherhood is so rewarding, while being humbling.

Those sleepless nights have taught me to be efficient when the time is available.

Caring for everyone all the time has made me realize how I need to care for myself, too, so I can be here for a long time to come.

And, well, never knowing what day it is, that’s why I always keep my planner close by. ;)

There will come a time in your life when mothering gets especially hard. When no other test prior will have equipped you with what happens.

During this time you will feel unworthy, defeated, depressed, and lost.

These feelings are normal and warranted during a time of stress and strain.

The struggle is part of the journey.

Motherhood was never meant to be easy.

When this time comes, because we all go through it at some point, here are the things I want you to remind yourself:

I don't think I will ever forget how you've helped your sister during this time when I couldn't.
You Are Enough

During these times you might find yourself passively parenting more, and hey, that’s okay, everyone needs a break.

Remember the times I set you up with coloring while I laid on the couch and rested?

Remember the little tea set picnic I laid out in the living room while I was on that call?

This is what I had to do, even though I wanted to play with you.

Sometimes as mothers we have things to do or need the rest, and that’s okay.

And yes, I also let you watch TV so I could take a nap, and that was the best nap ever.

I'll remember the times you crawled into my lap to snuggle because I couldn't lift you.
You Will Get It Done

There will always be laundry, the house will be messy, the work will pile up on your desk.

And it will all be there when you are ready to return to it. Stressing won’t solve it. Stressing won’t make it disappear. Figure out a time when you can tackle a little, because action will kick fear out, when you are ready and able, of course.

Sometimes you will need that 30 minutes of just laying on the couch and doing nothing, don’t feel guilty about it, everything gets done eventually.

I'll always remember during the hardest of days there was still always a laugh and a smile.
You Need to Know Your Limits

During your life you will break down and you will crumble emotionally. Your body will tell you to stop and sometimes even be incapable of doing anything for a period.

This is where you need to know and understand your limits. Get comfortable with those limits. Pushing the boundaries is great, put if you consistently push past to exhaustion and illness, you won’t fully succeed at anything.

Know your limits and become the champ of them. Set boundaries, healthy ones. Let everyone around you know and understand them. When you know your limits and set those boundaries, you will find yourself an emotionally strong and capable woman, one with confidence and health.

Daughter, motherhood is the most difficult experience of your life, and if you choose to walk that path someday, know that it will be met with challenges.

Not everyday will be perfect just like not everyday will be horrible.

If you learn and grow and set your boundaries, you can conquer any hurdle placed in your way.

When motherhood gets the toughest, you will learn the most.

Have faith in yourself, like I have faith in you.

With Love,

Your Determined Mother

____________

I’m now 5 weeks post-surgery. This has been the most difficult and challenging weeks of my motherhood because I haven’t been able to physically do what I need to do for my girls.

I’ve been insecure, irritated, depressed, unsure, humbled, and quite frankly, have been struggling to even get out of bed.

I am not alone in these feelings, but I am in control of my thoughts and actions. My feelings are valid, but I also know I can work within my limitations and conquer this hurdle life has thrown.

And this hurdle will ultimately make me a better mother.

This hurdle will teach me.

This hurdle will humble me.

This hurdle and this struggle is all part of the journey.

And I must remember:

I am enough.

It will get done.

I know my limits.

What has been the most challenging part of motherhood for you? Comment below.

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